Saturday, November 3, 2007

Four years ago today...

I woke up, five days overdue, determined to meet our son. I had been having pretty consistent contractions since the night before and was doing all I could to keep them going. We headed on foot to the local coffee shop at about 6:00 am and after walking about 1.5 miles we arrived back at the house, contractions still coming... but not in a way that I thought would birth a baby. But maybe - I speculated - this isn't as bad as some people make it seem.

Fast forward about 8 hours. We were at the hospital, checked in and waiting for our son to make his arrival. It felt surreal - it still does as I remember it. We had been to ALL the classes, and taking what we learned very seriously, we had packed our bags with games, magazines, music, movies - we were all set to have a delightful birthing experience. I thought that perhaps I'd even do it without pain medication. HA!

The surreal feeling continued as I agreed to an epidural relatively early on in the process - and as I developed complications that would require an emergency c-section. The memories from this part are somewhat disjointed, scary, a little panicked - and then, finally, the most intense relief and emotion I had ever felt (similar to getting that OUT of PGN phone call for those of you in the Guat adoption world). "Is he OK?" I cried, "Yes, he's perfect. He's huge. And he's perfect," my husband kept replying.

And he was - perfect. We had a couple names picked out - but when we met him - we knew right away which one was for him. He stared up at me when I held him that night. He was all swaddled up with a little hat on and about all I could see were his incredible blue eyes that looked so wise for this newborn baby. Now at four years old - he can still look at me with those eyes and capture my heart and attention in a mere second. I look back at him with wonder and I ask myself how I got so lucky. My little guy's answer is always, "God must really love you." I have struggled some with religion - but our two children are all the evidence I need to know that miracles happen and that, yes, God must really love me.

Happy Birthday, Brother! We love you, snuv you all the time.


TNKerry said...

Happy Birthday Brother!!!
The miracle of birth and the experience of neing a Mommy truly is God's way of telling us he loves us.

carla said...

that's really nice.
I hope youre gonna save this blog for them both to read when they're older!

Grammy and Nonno said...

Might I add the tears that flowed with daddy's panicked and over joyed call to us. All we could understand him saying was, "It's a boy!" God blessed us all! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Anonymous said...

As I read this tears came to my eyes just as they did with that phone call that my nephew was born, healthy and beautiful and that my sister-in-law was a champ and doing well. What a blessing! I cannot believe it was four years ago! Brother is more than we could have ever prayed for! Hope you had a great birthday little guy! Love you, Zia

Sig said...

Awwww. Happy belated birthday!!